Fresh herbs straight from the freezer

I picked up a fantastic tip from my Monday’s mummy supper club this week. Frozen herbs, brilliant idea.

Dorot produce a wide range of seasoning products, offering you crushed garlic & ginger, chopped basil, parsley, chilli, dill & coriander in ready to use, pre-portioned trays. All you have to do is pop out a cube into the dish of your choice. So convenient and completely mess free. Their products are packed at their peak of freshness and do not contain preservatives or artificial colours. You can find them at Sainsburys in the UK and Trader Joe’s in the U.S

Waitrose  and Ocado also do frozen herbs in their cooks ingredients range. You can find lime leaves, chopped garlic, chives, coriander, lemongrass sticks, parsley, chilli and mint in 150g all for £1.48.

You need never get caught short again when cooking up your next culinary feast and no more wasted leftover herbs.

Put your partner before the children

A new book says parents should put their children second to their marriage to ensure family wellbeing. The advice comes from family therapist and Wall Street Journal writer David Code, in a new book entitled To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First.

He claims children who receive too much attention from overanxious “helicopter parents”, who hover over them constantly, will end up demanding and dissatisfied.  He argues that the ‘greatest gift’ you can give a child is to set them an example with a healthy, happy marriage.

He added: ‘A good marriage sets a great example for your children’s future relationships, and that’s win-win for the whole family.’By killing ourselves to provide a perfect, trauma-free childhood for our children, we’re wasting our energy. ’The greatest gift you can give your children is to have a fulfilling marriage yourself.’

Mr Code says: ‘Today number one myth about parenting is that the more attention we give our kids, the better they’ll turn out. “But families centred on children create anxious, exhausted parents and demanding children.’We parents convince ourselves that putting our children first is child-friendly, but we make two main mistakes by doing so.’

‘First, it becomes harder to respect and enforce the boundaries that shape a child’s character, so he simply badgers his parents until he gets his way. Future bosses and spouses may not be so patient with this behaviour.’

‘Second, we put tremendous pressure on our children to fulfil our emotional needs, which may lead to the child acting up. This draws even more attention to the problem, as parents seek a diagnosis and physicians increasingly rely on medicating children.’

This article seems very centred on marriage. In this day an age families aren’t always born out of marriages, however, I’m sure the advice is the same for those in committed relationships.

Read more here.

Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy speak out against vaccine industry

At great risk to their professional careers, Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey have had the courage to speak out about their beliefs about vaccines and autism. Despite the constant attacks by the pro-vaccine groups, McCarthy and Carrey have issued a powerful statement that reveals what they believe is the truth behind the pharmaceutical industry’s smear campaign against Dr. Andrew Wakefield.

Below is their unedited statement provided courtesy of naturalnews.com

A statement from Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey

Dr. Andrew Wakefield is being discredited to prevent an historic study from being published that for the first time looks at vaccinated versus unvaccinated primates and compares health outcomes, with potentially devastating consequences for vaccine makers and public health officials.

It is our most sincere belief that Dr. Wakefield and parents of children with autism around the world are being subjected to a remarkable media campaign engineered by vaccine manufacturers reporting on the retraction of a paper published in The Lancet in 1998 by Dr. Wakefield and his colleagues.

The retraction from The Lancet was a response to a ruling from England’s General Medical Council, a kangaroo court where public health officials in the pocket of vaccine makers served as judge and jury. Dr. Wakefield strenuously denies all the findings of the GMC and plans a vigorous appeal.

Despite rampant misreporting, Dr. Wakefield’s original paper (http://www.generationrescue.org/pdf…) regarding 12 children with severe bowel disease and autism never rendered any judgment whatsoever on whether or not vaccines cause autism, and The Lancet’s retraction gets us no closer to understanding this complex issue.

Dr. Wakefield is one of the world’s most respected and well-published gastroenterologists. He has published dozens of papers (http://www.thoughtfulhouse.org/publ…) since 1998 in well-regarded peer-reviewed journals all over the world. His work documenting the bowel disease of children with autism and his exploration of novel ways to treat bowel disease has helped relieve the pain and suffering of thousands of children with autism.

For the past decade, parents in our community have been clamoring for a relatively simple scientific study that could settle the debate over the possible role of vaccines in the autism epidemic once and for all: compare children who have been vaccinated with children who have never received any vaccines and see if the rate of autism is different or the same.

Few people are aware that this extremely important work has not only begun, but that a study using an animal model has already been completed exploring this topic in great detail.

Dr. Wakefield is the co-author, along with eight other distinguished scientists from institutions like the University of Pittsburgh, the University of Kentucky, and the University of Washington, of a set of studies that explore the topic of vaccinated versus unvaccinated neurological outcomes using monkeys.

The first phase of this monkey study was published three months ago in the prestigious medical journalNeurotoxicology, and focused on the first two weeks of life when the vaccinated monkeys received a single vaccine for Hepatitis B, mimicking the U.S. vaccine schedule. The results, which you can read for yourself here (http://fourteenstudies.org/pdf/prim…), were disturbing. Vaccinated monkeys, unlike their unvaccinated peers, suffered the loss of many reflexes that are critical for survival.

Read the rest of this story here.

I for one would be very interested in a study that simply compares vaccinated children to unvaccinated children, assessing not only autism but allergies, ezcema and asthma.

15% off everything at Barefaced Beauty for mumzine readers

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Mumzine readers can now access a great 15% off all products using the code MUMZINE at the checkout.

It’s a girl thing. Part 2: Body image

Body image is a hot topic amongst girls and women . Too fat, too thin, big boobs, no boobs, too short, too tall, the list goes on.

A recent 2 year study by the Children’s Society found that children were unhappy with their appearance and levels of confidence.

Using a pioneering approach looking at the views of young people instead of focusing on issues adults considered important, researchers put around 100 questions to approx 7,000 children aged 10 to 15. They were asked to rate how happy they were on a scale from 0 to 10 with many aspects of their lives. 17.5% said that they were unhappy with their appearance, and 16% were unhappy with their confidence. Almost twice as many girls (21%) were unhappy with their appearance as boys (12%).

I wonder about the images that dolls like Barbie and Bratz suggest to young impressionable minds. They almost always have long (generally blond) hair, blue eyes, big busts and tiny waist lines. So far from reality, unless you are surgically enhanced like Katie Price or Jodie Marsh, whom sadly lots of young girls do idolize. Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against either girls, they just aren’t good examples of confident and self assured women. In fact with the masks they use to portray themselves I would suggest quite the opposite.

We asked Penny Nichols, Director of Children and Young People at the The Children’s Society how she thought parents could empower their children to not be so concerned with looks.

“There are many different elements to positive parenting. Praising children, listening to what they have to say and positive affirmations all aid children’s development and empower them to become confident in their own skin and proud of their abilities. It is important that a child knows that they are unique and they are not a clone to anyone else. Difference should be celebrated and this often starts at home”.

Penny also stated, “one of the key findings (from their research) is that children’s well-being is far more strongly influenced by levels of family conflict than by family structure. The difference between a young person’s family getting along – and not – explained 20% of the variation in overall happiness with life, whereas differences in family structure only explained 2%. It is interesting that it is not so much the type of family that children are living in, but how well they get along and how much harmony there is in the home that impacts on their happiness and overall well-being.”

Here’s some interesting tips to help build your girls body confidence.

1. Let your daughter know you love her for who she is, not how she looks or what she weighs. True beauty radiates from inside out. Comment on the way she carries herself into a room or the ideas she is expressing before commenting on her looks.
2. Encourage her to take physical risks. “Girls who avoid risks have poorer self-esteem than girls who can and do face challenges,” says JoAnn Deak, author of Girls Will Be Girls. “Urge your daughter to go beyond her comfort zone.”
3. Limit your daughters exposure to the media and popular culture when she is young. This will give her more time to develop her own ideas, creativity and imagination. Be conscious of the type of dolls you buy or are given for your girls and the message they portray.
4. Try to be the best role model you can be for your children. Eat healthily and beware of any negative labels you use to describe your body image and other peoples.

It’s a girl thing. Part 1: Friendships

We’ve put together a 2 part piece on some of the big issues parents tackle when raising girls. Today’s issue…

Friendships

My eldest daughter is 3.5 and already the “she says she’s not my friend anymore and I can’t go to her party” has started. It breaks my heart and even worse I struggle to find the right words to help her deal with the situation. It’s difficult not to feel protective and I find myself confused by the message I want to convey most.

I remember my secondary school days and how painful it could be when you were cast out of the ‘group’  and even the name calling at primary school. However, for girls, friendship troubles can continue long into adulthood. Why is that? There’s a definite depth to girlie friendships and they tend to have a lot invested in them.

It’s impossible to prevent our children from getting hurt, but we can help them develop to be confident and self assured, so that whatever comes their way they have the tools to cope.

Here’s some tips to help you and in turn help your daughter.

1. If your daughter comes home upset about friend issues at school be sure to validate her feelings. Don’t dismiss her conversation about friendship ups and downs as trivial. Take time and talk it through and help her find her own solutions to dealing with the problem.

2. Maybe your girl is doing the excluding. Talk with the her, help her develop empathy for the child being excluded. You could ask ‘How would this feel if you were the one being left out?’ It may remind her what it feels like to be in that situation and she may be more likely to support the odd girl out.”

3. When appropriate share your own memories of difficult times with friends, lets face it we’ve all had them. It may be helpful to know she’s not alone and it happens to others

4. Encourage her to solve issues on her own rather than fixing things for her. “When parents take over, girls don’t develop the coping skills they need to handle situations on their own. Ask your daughter to consider three strategies she might use to deal with a situation, and then ask her about the possible outcomes. Let her decide what she wants to do (within reason). Even if you disagree with her choice, you give your daughter a sense of control over her life and show her that she is responsible for her decisions,” says Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out

5. Address girl fighting when you see it. “Talk with girls about gossiping, rumor-spreading and excluding as well as hitting or fighting. But don’t assume all girls are mean, and avoid saying ‘girls will be girls’ when you witness girls engaging in exclusive cliques and clubs. Instead, affirm girls’ relational strengths and sense of fairness, help them identify and hold on to their strong feelings, like anger, and encourage them to practice more direct, positive ways to effect change in their relationships,” says Lyn Mikel Brown author of Girlfighting.

Part 2 tomorrow, looks at body image and confidence building.

Fish oil supplements can ‘beat psychotic mental illness’

Taking a daily fish oil capsule can stave off mental illness in those at highest risk, trial findings suggest.

A three-month course of the supplement appeared to be as effective as drugs, cutting the rate of psychotic illness like schizophrenia by a quarter.

The researchers believe it is the omega-3 in fish oil – already hailed for promoting healthy hearts – that has beneficial effects in the brain.

“The finding that treatment with a natural substance may prevent, or at least delay, the onset of psychotic disorder gives hope that there may be alternatives to antipsychotic drugs,” the study authors said.

The international team from Austria, Australia and Switzerland tested the treatment in 81 people deemed to be at particularly high risk of developing psychosis.

Their high risk was down to a strong family history of schizophrenia, or similar disorders, or them already showing mild symptoms of these conditions themselves.

For the test, half of the individuals took fish oil supplements (1.2 grams of omega-3 fatty acids) for 12 weeks, while the other half took only a dummy pill. Neither group knew which treatment they were receiving.

Dr Paul Amminger and his team followed the groups for a year to see how many, if any, went on to develop illness.

Two in the fish oil group developed a psychotic disorder compared to 11 in the placebo group.  Based on the results, the investigators estimate that one high-risk adult could be protected from developing psychosis for every four treated over a year.  They believe the omega-3 fatty acids found in the supplements may alter brain signalling in the brain with beneficial effects.

Alison Cobb, of the mental health charity Mind, said: “If young people can be treated successfully with fish oils, this is hugely preferable to treating them with antipsychotics, which come with a range of problems from weight gain to sexual dysfunction, whereas omega-3s are actually beneficial to their general state of health.

“These are promising results and more research is needed to show if omega-3s could be an alternative to antipsychotics in the long term.”

Source: BBC News

Like all suplements, it really is worth buying high quality fish oils, we love Higher Nature and if you buy their Premier quality fish oil it has been scrupulously screened for pollutants, so is a safe way to obtain your key omega 3 fatty acids, EPA and DHA, daily.

First Montessori state school planned in the UK

The Montessori Schools Association, which advocates letting young children learn at their own pace, plans to open its first state primary in the UK.

Under the Montessori method, developed by Italian physician Maria Montessori in the early 20th century, children spend as much time as they like on topics of their choice, allowing them to develop according to their instinct.

The move to open a state primary operating along these lines would provide a direct contrast between its liberal teaching philosophy and the rigid national curriculum used in state primary schools. The school, which would be “gifted” to a local authority by the Montessori Schools Association (MSA)’s charitable operation, would be run by the authority with the MSA only providing input on the teaching side. So far four potential sites in London are being considered for the school; Barking, Islington, Kensington and Chelsea, and Tower Hamlets.

Source: Daily Telegraph – read full article here.

Get your children to listen in 4 steps

Wow – some help with one of the hardest parts of being a parent.  We love the simplicity of this advice from Gayle Peterson, PhD.  Go to ivillage to see more of her advice.

1. Communicate your expectations clearly.

Pitfall: Some parents express what they want their child do by including a child’s feelings as a part of the communication. For example: “Let’s get in the car. I know you want to go to grandma’s, don’t you?”

Say, instead: “I want you to get in your car seat now. We are going to grandma’s house.”

2. Accept your child’s feelings, but reinforce your expectations.

Pitfall: Expecting your child to show enthusiasm or contentment about doing what is required.

Instead, be willing to reflect your child’s negative feelings about doing what you require, but do not negate what you expect. For example: “Grandma is waiting for us. You must get in your car seat. I know you are sad about having to leave your friends right now. You will be able to play again another day.”

3. Communicate and deliver consequences.

Pitfalls: Many parents resort to shouting, instead of communicating and delivering consequences in a matter-of-fact tone. Or they do not follow through on consequences they communicate because they threaten inappropriately in the heat of anger.

Instead, accept complaints, but clarify what will happen if they do not listen. For example: “If you do not get in your car seat by the count of three, I will put you in myself.” Or, for an older child, “If you do not do your homework, you will not be able to watch your TV program.” Be sure you make appropriate consequences that you are willing to deliver. Then, follow through! (Note: Shouting is not a viable consequence, and only leads to escalation!)

Expect to follow through on your consequences BEFORE your children will listen. It will take one, two or three times for your child to know that you mean what you say, especially if you have been resorting to whining or complaining instead of being authoritative (which we all do at one time or another).

4. Separate your child’s behaviour from their self-esteem. Label a behaviour “bad,” but not your child’s motives or character.

Pitfall: To confuse behaviour with character labels. For example: “No hitting! Only bad boys hit.”

Instead, “Hitting is a bad thing to do to others. You must learn to use your words.” Or to an older child when addressing a bad mistake. “You are not a thief. Why in the world did you steal that lipstick?” Separating behaviour from action allows children to learn from their mistakes, rather than be condemned by them.

It is our job as parents to guide our children. We must be willing to accept anger and other negative feelings when we set appropriate limits. As long as your expectations are reasonable for your child’s age, you may successfully adopt the role of benevolent dictator when necessary.

As parents you have your children’s best interests at heart. You have raised them to give you their input. Pat yourself on the back. They will feel empowered to express themselves and be able to influence the direction of their destiny in their adult lives.

But do not stop short of taking charge. Your calm leadership is necessary to create a stable environment. Children and parents flourish in an atmosphere that promotes order over chaos.

Source: ivillage 

Kids as young as 6 months are aware of race. New book suggests we need to talk about it.

New research suggests children instinctively discriminate based on appearance and white parents are not helping their kids be ‘colour blind’ by ignoring the issue of race.

New book Nurtureshock from Po Brosnson and Ashley Merryman challenges many of the basic assumptions parents hold true about raising children.

The book discusses a 2007 study in The Journal of Marriage and Family which found that out of 17,000 families with kids in nursery, 45% said they’d never discussed race issues with their children and 75% of white parents never talked about race believing that by discussing race you highlighted differences rather than letting children grow up without a sense of racial boundaries.

What Nutureshock reveals is that children naturally notice visible differences between themselves and others (including race, gender, etc) and tend to group themselves where they feel they belong. The authors suggest it is imperative that discussions about race take place with young children in a positive way in order to avoid issues surrounding racial attitudes.   Although we might imagine we’re creating color-blind environments for children, differences in skin colour, hair or weight are like differences in gender – they’re obvious and need discussing.

“For decades, it was assumed that children see race only when society points it out to them. However, child-development researchers have increasingly begun to question that presumption. They argue that children see racial differences as much as they see the difference between pink and blue—but we tell kids that “pink” means for girls and “blue” is for boys. “White” and “black” are mysteries we leave them to figure out on their own.” Nurtureshock

So how did the researchers test a 6-month-old? They showed babies photographs of faces and found that babies would stare significantly longer at photographs of faces that are a different race from their parents, indicating they found the face out of the ordinary.  Authors Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman suggest, that although they are not exhibiting signs of racism—children’s brains noticed skin-colour differences and were trying to understand their meaning.

Another finding that may surprise a lot of parents is that the very period when parents feel then do not need to or should not be discussing race (when they are young) is infact the very developmental period when children’s minds are forming their first conclusions about race.

“Several studies point to the possibility of developmental windows—stages when children’s attitudes might be most amenable to change. In one experiment, children were put in cross-race study groups, and then were observed on the playground to see if the interracial classroom time led to interracial play at recess. The researchers found mixed study groups worked wonders with the first-grade children, but it made no difference with third graders. It’s possible that by third grade, when parents usually recognize it’s safe to start talking a little about race, the developmental window has already closed.” Nurtureshock.

The book also examines the problems of praise and giving too much, the affects of not enough sleep on children, why children lie, why siblings fight and many other fascinating areas.  It certainly made me question many of my own parenting ideas.  Its NOT a parenting manual though so if you are expecting to come away with a to do list at the end you will be disappointed, parts of the books gave me more questions than answers but actually this is probably best because ultimately we all need to made our own decisions about how to parent our kids.

Click here to read the Daily Mail’s article on Nurtureshock/Giving to much praise